I thank thee :)

Thank you for the kind concern and words.

I am doing ok meanwhile.

Keeping myself busy everyday with my new job. Very much of a hands on job.

Unlike previously where I had to constantly guard and strategise against ppl inside and outside.

Has this blog turned boring? Maybe so.

It feels weird writing my thoughts here. This blog was started and inspired by June.

And turned mushy cos of a series of unfortunate incidents.

Perhaps one day when I know that I am completely out of your mind and sight. I will stop.

Done my little checklist on what I ought not be in life
- braggart
- presumptuous
- precocious
- jealous
- angry
- lazy

Almost all the deadly sins. Sigh. I will keep gluttony for the mean time till I turn into a ball. I still have two more in camps :P

Technology is always a good thing. Having everything at your fingertips with a smartphone. But it turns you into a monster when you obsessively check your mail, other ppl's tweets, fb, whatsapp .....

I reminisce the times when I had only a pager with mail box. Sharing that mail box with close friends so that we can find each other in the crowds. 177155 4 or 17 31707 1 is messaged in small little dot matrix screen.

This brings a smile to my face always.

With technology (and google) (and Facebook), no one escapes. You can google anyone track them down if they leave enough digital traces.

I am turning insomniac.

Mindless ranting at 430am.

But truth is, thank thee all that has offered me kind words.

I am ok. I will survive.

Some might call me silly, immature and yes WUSS (just reminds me of chewie actually), like I would say to others in the same situation as well. Time will make things better and just try not to think about it.

The fact of the matter is, when you feel so strongly in your gut that somehow this feels right and it just becomes part of you. I am no greenhorn to this battlefield but it feels different. It ain't about convincing yourself and shit like this. Ppl ask if this is just crushes, I know a crush when I get into it and get out of it harmless. Maybe I am just obessive? I never put myself in that shoe. It has been one month since I have last heard from you. Wanted to learn more about your trip then.

I've known myself better. I ain't clingy and to an extend I am jaded. I take things with I pinch of salt. But I reckoned that I stubborn to know what I want.

Even if this is the only way to communicate with you, I will be here. How long can I last? I ask myself this question all the time. My only answer is that when I am truly out of your mind and sight.

Ppl asks if this is true love? Idk. But it is a spark that never ignite fully.

But how the hell do I know anything if it is just a matter of months. I trust my feelings (going mushy and woman like now). It feels different. I let down all my guard for you. I speak of the truth in front of you. I am as naked as I can be. Which I never ever allow myself to do that.

I have said too much now. :)

I shall go back to googling.

Love,
B